Creating fulfilling relationships

Author Archives: eric

Working Successfully Through Difficult Dialogues

A Structured Dialogue Process for Working Through Challenging Issues Inspired by Restorative Circles – www.restorativecircles.org This process is designed to build understanding and collaboration while working through important or difficult issues. Practice it with easier issues so that it is easier to learn. This process works best when you are as interested in the other’s… Continue Reading

Somatic Self-Empathy

SOMATIC SELF-EMPATHY If you are aware that your amygdala is activated, that you are in fight/flight or freeze and struggling to stay connected and compassionate with yourself or another, You can connect to your prefrontal cortex, regulate your upset, and find a healthy response to the situation by observing your breath, thoughts, and sensations; feeling… Continue Reading

Increasing Your Capacity to Feel

The following post is an excerpt from my book Meet Me In Hard-to-Love Places: The Heart and Science of Relationship Success Widen the Window Two of the most supportive things parents can do for their children are healing their own attachment trauma (thereby further developing their own neural pathways for emotional regulation and secure attachment) and… Continue Reading

What is a Conscious Relationship?

In an interview with Helen LaKelly Hunt and Harville Hendrix that I often recommend to people, Helen and Harville define a conscious relationship as one in which each partner is aware that the wounds and relationship dynamics from childhood will have a big influence on their relationship. In other words, they are conscious that what… Continue Reading

What is The Shadow

An important part of differentiation for adults involves uncovering and reclaiming the disowned parts that were not accepted or loved by their parents. The term “shadow,” first suggested by the psychoanalyst Carl Jung, is often used when referring to our disowned parts, or to the place in our psyches in which we have hidden them. If disowned… Continue Reading

My Time for Waiting is Over

My first two professionally produced songs are ready! The first song is Our Time for Waiting is Over. This song is a call out to answer the heart and find the courage, humility, strength and support needed to bring love to both the light and dark places. It is the theme song for my Gofundme Campaign… Continue Reading

Bringing Love to Painful Places

The end of a marriage, a cancer diagnosis, the destruction of nature, a politician who does not share your values winning an election, how on earth do we bring love to these experiences? Love finds an opening into painful places when we find a willingness to be present to what we are experiencing. The more… Continue Reading

Your Inner Leader

When building successful relationships, it can be very helpful to see yourself as a collection of different inner parts that developed in your psyche due to your various life experiences. There are all kinds of inner parts: a child part, a critic part, a victim part, a monster, a show off, a caretaker, a saboteur,… Continue Reading

The Devil is in the Differentiation

I Get to Be Me and You Get to Be You In adult relationships, differentiation means that each person: is separate and different from the other has their own needs and emotions has their own preferences and dreams has their own character and truth has their own “yes” and their own “no” is autonomous and… Continue Reading