Creating fulfilling relationships

Bringing Love to Painful Places

The end of a marriage, a cancer diagnosis, the destruction of nature, a politician who does not share your values winning an election, how on earth do we bring love to these experiences? Love finds an opening into painful places when we find a willingness to be present to what we are experiencing. The more… Continue Reading

Your Inner Leader

When building successful relationships, it can be very helpful to see yourself as a collection of different inner parts that developed in your psyche due to your various life experiences. There are all kinds of inner parts: a child part, a critic part, a victim part, a monster, a show off, a caretaker, a saboteur,… Continue Reading

The Devil is in the Differentiation

I Get to Be Me and You Get to Be You In adult relationships, differentiation means that each person: is separate and different from the other has their own needs and emotions has their own preferences and dreams has their own character and truth has their own “yes” and their own “no” is autonomous and… Continue Reading

Rupert and Troy

A Story of Avoidant Insecure Attachment Imagine a little boy named Rupert. Rupert is four years old and wants to play with his older brother Troy, but Troy does not want to play with him and pushes him away. Rupert’s amygdala sounds the alarm for fight/flight. Rupert is hurt and upset and does what upset… Continue Reading

Chapter 1 of Meet Me In Hard-to-Love Places

Building A Successful Relationship Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~ Rumi So how do you create a successful relationship? There are many ways to answer that question. But first, it is important to understand that… Continue Reading

Introduction to Meet Me In Hard-to-Love Places

To build successful relationships, it is essential to address the pain and emotional wounds that you carry from past relationships, particularly from your childhood relationships with your parents. If you were not raised by your parents, you can think of your primary caregivers whenever parents are mentioned in this book. Your childhood relationships with your parents… Continue Reading

Meet Me in Hard-to-Love Places

The following blog post is the prologue for my soon-to-be-launched-book Meet Me in Hard-to-Love Places: The Heart and Science of Relationships Success When it comes to relationships, hard-to-love places are some of the most challenging emotional terrain we travel through. We have all been there, those places where it seems impossible to keep our hearts… Continue Reading

Expanding Our Capacity to Love

What if we came to this world to expand our capacity to love? What if we had to forget where we came from in order to fulfill that quest, like water evaporating from the ocean and traveling to land to nourish soil. What if the painful and traumatic events of our lives are the mechanisms… Continue Reading

My # 1 Tip for Building an Inspiring Relationship

Fall in Love with Your Shadow “Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.” ~C.G. Jung When inner healing work is done deeply and consistently enough, it leads you to the beauty in your shadow, and you become smitten with the treasures found… Continue Reading