Creating fulfilling relationships

Rupert and Troy

A Story of Avoidant Insecure Attachment Imagine a little boy named Rupert. Rupert is four years old and wants to play with his older brother Troy, but Troy does not want to play with him and pushes him away. Rupert’s amygdala sounds the alarm for fight/flight. Rupert is hurt and upset and does what upset… Continue Reading

Chapter 1 of Meet Me In Hard-to-Love Places

Building A Successful Relationship Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~ Rumi So how do you create a successful relationship? There are many ways to answer that question. But first, it is important to understand that… Continue Reading

Introduction to Meet Me In Hard-to-Love Places

To build successful relationships, it is essential to address the pain and emotional wounds that you carry from past relationships, particularly from your childhood relationships with your parents. If you were not raised by your parents, you can think of your primary caregivers whenever parents are mentioned in this book. Your childhood relationships with your parents… Continue Reading

Meet Me in Hard-to-Love Places

The following blog post is the prologue for my soon-to-be-launched-book Meet Me in Hard-to-Love Places: The Heart and Science of Relationships Success When it comes to relationships, hard-to-love places are some of the most challenging emotional terrain we travel through. We have all been there, those places where it seems impossible to keep our hearts… Continue Reading

Expanding Our Capacity to Love

What if we came to this world to expand our capacity to love? What if we had to forget where we came from in order to fulfill that quest, like water evaporating from the ocean and traveling to land to nourish soil. What if the painful and traumatic events of our lives are the mechanisms… Continue Reading

My # 1 Tip for Building an Inspiring Relationship

Fall in Love with Your Shadow “Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.” ~C.G. Jung When inner healing work is done deeply and consistently enough, it leads you to the beauty in your shadow, and you become smitten with the treasures found… Continue Reading

This One’s for Marshall

Marshall Rosenberg passed away last February 7, 2015, and I’ve been reflecting quite a lot since then on the impact he had on me. I can safely say that, outside of my family, Marshall is the person who has made the biggest contribution to my life. I only met him twice, but the Nonviolent Communication… Continue Reading

Making Peace with Loyal Soldiers

I often speak and write about how falling in love with yourself is a crucial element of building great relationships with others.  Falling in love with yourself means embracing all aspects of yourself (including disowned parts), doing what you love, following your dreams, and unearthing your soul’s calling through the transformation of your wounds. Falling… Continue Reading

Why I Can Be Such a Disaster in Relationships

I love to bring together Nonviolent Communication, Interpersonal Neurobiology and Attachment Theory because together they offer incredible information and tools for building great relationships. Together they are like a manual on how to put all the parts of relationships together and make them work, as well as a guidebook for how to navigate the inner… Continue Reading

An Adventure in Unconditional Love

We all know that children thrive when raised with unconditional love.  However, giving children unconditional love is impossible for parents and caregivers to do, unless they have managed to reclaim and unconditionally love all their own disowned parts.   When disowned parts aren’t reclaimed and remain in the parents’ shadow, the flow of love is blocked… Continue Reading