Meet Me In Hard-to-Love Places:
The Heart and Science of Relationship Success
By Eric Bowers
Why is it that intimate relationships give us the most exquisite and magical moments of our lives but also some of the most painful and heartbreaking experiences we endure? How is it possible that the meeting of two hearts brings out the best and worst of us? Meet Me in Hard-to-Love Places offers a clear and beautiful map for the wonderful, difficult and bewildering world of intimate relationships. Eric Bowers draws from Attachment Theory, Interpersonal Neurobiology, Nonviolent Communication, and his own explorations of hard-to-love places to explain why relationships fall apart and to give you the blueprint, building blocks, and inspiration from which to create a new foundation for love.
Meet Me In Hard-to-Love Places is a book that outlines the foundational ideas and principles of Attachment Theory, Interpersonal Neurobiology and Nonviolent Communication in ways that are very accessible to the reader. The stories and poems interspersed throughout the book help make the information personal, engaging and inspiring. This book is a delight for your mind, your heart and your soul. Included at the end is a chapter of relationship practices and processes designed to enrich all of your relationships, as well as a chapter of practical tips for building successful relationships.
My experience was that the first part of Eric’s title was enough to inspire me to read the whole book: Meet me in Hard-to-Love Places. Aren’t these the places where we find ourselves struggling, disappearing, dissociating, blaming, and abandoning ourselves and others? Eric set out, with a great deal of intention and commitment and drive, to discover how to meet himself and the people he cares about in these hard to love places. This book is his account of this journey.
I have deep reverence and respect for every step of his journey, and for the fact that he wrote so much of it down! His book is a lovely combination of lyrical poetry and songs, personal narrative, and down to earth neuro-science. His transparency, his integrity and his heart are palpable throughout the book.
To read this book is to be inspired to continue walking on our own journeys, whatever they are–not to give up. And to feel the power of connection, breaking through, like sunlight, into the places we have become accustomed to inhabiting, all alone.
~ Shayla Wright
– Willing to let us learn through his honest and well-earned reflections, Eric Bowers shows us how to delicately, courageously, and empathetically navigate the true nature of intimacy. Whether you are in a long-term relationship and looking to evolve together, or collecting yourself before beginning again, this book offers effective and loving tools for seeing you down the path.
~ Mia Kalef, DC, author of The Secret Life of Babies
– Eric’s book is a precious gift for those looking to improve their relationships. It is also a coherent synthesis of Attachment Theory, Interpersonal Neurobiology, and Nonviolent Communication that therapists will find helpful in their healing work with clients. Eric’s courage, vulnerability and hard-won wisdom are a testament to the depths and edges he has explored in relationships. ~Dave Wali Waugh RPC, director of Elements Counseling and author of Evolving Soulfully
– Eric, I’ve got the book. I’m reading it. I’ve been quoting from it and taking notes and reflecting on all that I’m gleaning. It’s a fabulous read, easy to follow and just the right size. ~ Lillie Lentz, Victoria, BC.
– A beautifully written and informative book. Being new to the concepts and teachings of NVC, I really appreciated the approach taken in the book -especially the author’s sharing of powerful personal experiences that brings the theory into real world application. The way Attachment Theory, Interpersonal Neurobiology, and NVC are seamlessly woven together makes it a great book for anyone wanting to understand their own patterns of relating. My husband is now currently reading it after seeing how I couldn’t put it down and it has led to some really interesting conversations! This book has heart and soul. ~ Amazon review.
– Written with true love and humility, synthesizing various psychological disciplines, including song (!), don’t let the simplicity of language fool you … it’s simplicity is the profoundness of truth distilled. ~ Amazon review.
– In my work as a Somatic Psychotherapist, I have already recommended this book to many of my clients and colleagues. There are numerous books out there talking about the ins and outs of attachment and relationship and how to understand it. I have read most of them. I am excited about “Meet Me In Hard To Love Places” because it feels comprehensive, holistic and accessible to anyone who is curious about their habitual patterns in relationship and how to overcome and understand reactivity and the various stuck places that occur inside ourselves in relationship. It is also very informative for mental health clinicians – it adds depth, insight and tools to the rich layers of the therapeutic relationship. It is the first book on attachment that I have read that breaks down attachment patterns in depth and in a way that looks through a lens of healing and hope instead of pathology.
Just as a skilled river guide takes us safely down the river, explaining the wild and beautiful terrain, Eric Bowers guides us through the inner landscape of relationships and communication. He weaves his background in river guiding and songwriting into a skillfully written navigation of our hearts, connection and what gets in the way. He also offers science behind what happens in our brains and bodies in response to being in relationship with others – both in healthy and unhealthy ways.
Eric offers simple and cutting-edge tools for embodied transformation primarily from NVC, Interpersonal Neurobiology and Mindfulness. To be quite honest, I wasn’t a big fan of NVC before I read this book… in the way it is presented here, I am now interested. He shares it in a way that is less formulaic and rigid than it’s been presented to me before. Here, it is presented as a body-based practice which I really appreciate. My attention has been held through the entire book and I find myself cheering because this is a book I am proud to have as part of this field of helping people understand and move towards true intimacy and connection inside and out. Thanks Eric for contributing your important voice to this rapidly growing field of attachment and embodied communication. ~ Shelby Leigh, MA, Portland, OR.