Creating fulfilling relationships

Table of Contents

Prologue

Introduction

Chapter 1. Building a Successful Relationship

  • The Cornerstones of Successful Relationships
  • I Get to Be Me and You Get to Be You
  • That is not a Part of Me
  • The Link to Love
  • Chapter 1. Review

Chapter 2. Attached to Love

  • Where Did You Learn to Love?
  • This is What Love Looks Like
  • I Love You but Don’t Get Too Close
  • I Love You but Come Closer
  • I Love You and You Scare Me
  • Strangers Don’t Help
  • Adults Need Love Too
  • On the Trail of Love
  • Chapter 2. Review

Chapter 3. Your Relationship Memory

  • The Memories You Can Recall
  • The Memories You Do Not Know You Have
  • The Gas Pedal and the Brakes
  • Engagement Matters
  • This is Your Relationship on Implicit Memory
  • Our Orphaned Neural Networks
  • Chapter 3. Review

Chapter 4. This is Your Brain on Emotions

  • The Brain in Your Hand
  • Closing the Flipped Lid
  • Is it Left or Right
  • All Systems Go
  • Widen the Window
  • Chapter 4. Review

Chapter 5. Communicating for Love

  • Nonviolent Communication
  • The Treasure Beneath the Surface
  • What is Going on in Me?
  • What is Going on in You?
  • More Than Words
  • An Ear to Lean On
  • Empathy Under Fire
  • Can I Be Honest with You?
  • Here Are the Facts
  • Can You Feel It
  • Let’s Get the Job Done
  • Sending Out an SOS
  • This is Where I Draw the Line
  • Chapter 5. Review

Chapter 6. The Love Affair of a Lifetime

Chapter 7. Practices

  • Self-Empathy
  • Listening Options that Support Connection and Emotional Regulation
  • Resonant Empathy for Another
  • Guidelines for Empathy-Buddy Calls
  • Natural-Sounding Nonviolent Communication
  • Connected Interrupting
  • Calling a Pause
  • Repairing a Break in Connection
  • Finding and Reclaiming Disowned Parts

Chapter 8. Tips for the Road

  • Ask Before Offering Advice or Suggestions
  • Cultivate Connection Before Asking for Action
  • Get Empathy Before Making Important Decisions
  • Invite People to Say No
  • Separate Needs from Outcomes and Strategies
  • Ask to Understand
  • Talk about Conflict When You’re Not in Conflict
  • Practice Self-Empathy with Your Whole Body
  • Make Poetry Out of Empathy
  • Take it to the Trees
  • Catching Hearts
  • Connect to the Living Energy of Your Needs
  • The Eight Most Powerful Things You Can Do to Build an Inspiring Relationship

Bibliography

Appendices

Appendix A. Needs

Appendix B. Feelings

Index of Blogs Posts and Songs

Index

Acknowledgements

About the Author