Creating fulfilling relationships

Tips for the Road

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Take a Grief Inventory

Take a look back at your life and find the losses and painful events you’ve had that you weren’t able to grieve. The break-up of a family, the ending of a marriage or relationship, the loss of a loved one, the loss of a pet, moving away from friends and community, the loss of a job, traumatic events, the regretful things you did, these are experiences that need to be grieved. When they are not grieved, the pain stays with us, as do the beliefs we create about ourselves and the world. Grieving is how we stay connected to and honour the preciousness of what was lost. Fully grieving our losses allows us to move forward with open hearts.

Grieving is meant to be done in community, and that is what I recommend. However, it’s not always easy to find a community that does rituals for grieving. If you don’t have access to a community, I suggest you make your own ritual and let nature hold you in your grieving. Ask her to hold you. Tell her about your grief. Say everything you need to say. But most of all, feel your grief. Use your breath. Breathe it into your heart.

If you’d like to know more about Grief Work, I recommend this interview with Francis Weller and the work of Joanna Macy.

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